Happy Birthday, Louise

What am I doing now?
I have no idea on this.
&
I do not even know how I feel,
just feel numb and aimless.

The day getting closer,
I still do not know whether I can handle the day or not.

The first anniversary she left the world,
which collide with my 24th birthday.
What a big irony?

People tells me to let go,
and cherish for my present.
Do you think I can celebrate my birthday
on my sister's death anniversary?
It's not that I am stubborn to let go,
but the only thing that I can do for her is
to remember every single moment of her
which are belongs to her.

Frankly say,
I would not want to freak my friends by telling them
about the day,
but I really hope no birthday celebration on the day it self.
Really hope.
If not,
my tears will be overflow...

Thanks for allowing me to be alive.
Thanks for giving me the chance to see the world properly
    through this 24 years.
Thanks for letting me taste the sorrow,
    which then makes my joy means more.
Thanks to my mum and dad.


Happy Birthday, Louise.
Look forward and keep those sweet memories
    deep, deep in your heart.
Cherish for what you have, and what you used to have.